This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
