She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
