I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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