we're chasing vodka with high fives
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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