I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
