In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
