I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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