This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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