My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You took a bar mat shot.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
