What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
