i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
