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• (631): View more from New York

  U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ya, gonna go have sex there?

  (631): View more from New York

  No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  "Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.

  Fav 15 3121 2206

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  this must be what syphilis tastes like

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  my self respect just called, its having a good time without me

  Fav 9 3436 1450

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Drinking loves me for WHO I am

  Fav 3 1426 649

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.

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• (+35): View more from

  Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.

  Fav 2 525 713

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it

  Fav 0 651 370

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?

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