Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
