you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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