i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
