areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
