We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
