I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
