butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
