Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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