he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
