Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
