Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Randomize
