The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
