Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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