I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
