you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
