is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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