just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
