I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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