I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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