My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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