I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
