Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
