Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
accomplished twins. life is a go
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
