yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
