capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
