How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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