Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
