GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
home. puking in laundry basket.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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