By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
