You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
