I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
