i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
