U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
