we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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