dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
