bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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