P.S. I can't hear my feet
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Semen is not good for contacts.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
