That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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